...awesome.

i can't really cite this thing appropriately... beyond the fact that it's from the washington post. this is my mecca:

-- Here are the results of the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once
again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by
adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:


1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.


2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.


3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.


4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.


5. Bozone layer (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little
sign of breaking down in the near future.


6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.


7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.


8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.


9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.


10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)


11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
serious bummer.


12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that aren't bad for you.


13. Glibido : All talk and no action.


14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you at high speed.


15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.


16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and will not be cast out.


17. Caterpallor ( n.): The colour you turn after finding half a worm in
the fruit you're eating.


The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its
yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for
common words. And the winners are!


1. Coffee , n. The person upon whom one coffs.


2. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has
gained.


3. Abdicate , v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.


4. Esplanade , v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.


5. Willy-nilly , adj. Impotent.


6. Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only
a nightgown.


7. Lymph , v. To walk with a lisp.


8. Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.


9. Flatulence , n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been
run over by a steamroller.


10. Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline.


11. Testicle , n. A humorous question on an exam.


12. Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.


13. Pokemon , n. A Rastafarian proctologist.


14. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.


15. Frisbeetarianism , n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies
up onto the roof and gets stuck there.


16. Circumvent , n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
Jewish men.


yesssssssssssss